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Sims Post of Postyness

I will admit in the here and now that I have no goddamn clue what's been going on, and I've been slacking YET AGAIN on playing in favour of playing 7 Days to Die. Zombies > Sims? ik.

And, DUDES, you know my mad fear of driving into a body of water? Guess who totally cruised their sweet motorbike into a lake in 7 Days to Die? YEP, ME. I had to drain a section of the water to get it back. Fucking horror show right there.

So,, anyway, judging by the last post I made, when last we left my Sims, all the kids had aged up, except for Iris who totally just died. Katia and Osvaldo were de-vamped, but left immortal, and moved out of the old family homestead so I could focus on another generation. After all, I think, what, like 13 kids is PROBABLY enough. I also had aged them up into elders just to put a stop to their mad boning spree and shut down the baby factory. Then the game glitched out and I THOUGHT it was because of them, so I reloaded and just moved them out as was and went on with things, BUT it turned out that the girl I was marrying Elliott off to was borked, so it wasn't them at all! But they're still off in the wilds being adults instead of elders. They haven't gone about having more kids, though, so that's something.

First up, since they're out of the house and I promised pictures like a YEAR ago, it's Katia and Osvaldo! Both in their current adult forms and in the elder forms that I had for them before I realized HOW the game was fucking with me. They were such a cute old couple.

Katia! See what I mean about the dead husky eyes? *shudder*

Osvaldo! He looks like the kind of guy you'd call 'Pappy'.

Once mum and Pappy were out of the house, it was time to get the boys MAD DATING and married so they could have kids of their own and once again work towards packing the town with Dannons. And, holy shit balls was it a pain in the ass. See, idk wtf is going on with my game lately, but EVERY SINGLE LADY (all the single ladies, all the single ladies) that I had my lads date and marry (they put a ring on it) ended up breaking the game a little. Like, they'd go out and getting married by the garbage can, a Dannon family tradition, if you'll remember, and then I'd go to pop into someone's inventory to move a book or put something away, as one does, and the ONLY inventory I could get into, no matter who I was on, was the new girl's. I could make my other people do things, but everyone I clicked on showed as being the new girl. So...not great.

Overall I think that Elliott and Elias each married and then 'forgot' (reset) at least twice. Which sucks because you spend, like, a full 3 minutes forcing someone to love you only to have to start all over when they bork the game. :( Sad!

But, eventually it worked and I managed to get Elliott married off to someone who DIDN'T break the game (I think her name was Alice) and they had a kid that Mally named Rayve, and then Elliott got a tasty drinky drinky of Vamp-B-Gone and they moved off into their own lovely little house because Elliott has shitty traits and I didn't want him around anymore.

At least he was sort of a looker, though.

The cute ones are always assholes.

And, yeah, he's a rockstar, thus all the leather and eyeliner. Currently I think he and Alice have, like, three kids (one of whom is broken and stuck as a child forever), and he's ded, but she's an elder (and I think dating one of Elias' kids. Gross). But, man, they FUCKING HATED EACH OTHER. The game kept popping up messages (thanks the the mods I have on) about how they're CONSTANTLY fighting in public and they've declared each other enemies FOR LIFE. But they never divorced, so I assume that Alice must have had an AMAZING life insurance policy on him that she was just waiting to see pay out.

(aight, so I just popped into the game 'quick' to check on names and shit and it looks like Alice is flying solo at the moment. Also, cripse, some of the names that the game gives people. Alice and Elliott had 3 kids, Rayve, that Mally named, and then Lee and Margie, that the game named. Which isn't terrible. But then Lee, the only one with kids atm, has Sterling, Jillian, and Julius. They liked those J names for a bit, didn't they?)

Once we got Elliott and his ever expanding brood out of the house, it was time for, you guessed it! BIRTHDAYS! And no one died. wtf.

Isabella! So blonde! Just like mommy!

Ilsa! Takes after daddy!

So now that the girls were all aged up, it was time to finally get Elias married and out of the house, so I managed to find him a girl he liked well enough who DIDN'T bork the game, and he and Felicity got married, had a kid, Cayman, and moved all the hell out. All told they had 3 kids as well, Cayman, Zane, and Herman (these names, yo), and they're both still alive, getting along, and have no grandkids as yet. Soon, probably. And I have no doubt they'll have names like Dwexl and Marco or something.

Anyways. I decided that Ilsa was the cuter of the were-triplets-now-twins, so we got Isabella married up to a lovely dude with floppy bangs named Benito. Guess what they did? If you guess 'had a kid and moved out' you're both correct and probably have figured out my mode of operation. They had wee Vladimyr, moved out, and had two more kids (this game likes threes): Melanie and Jenny. They're now elders, getting along, and have one grandkid, Danny.

And then Ilsa. Oh, Ilsa.

This game has been being a fucking bear and a half when it comes to me finding A: people my people like (one of the mods tells me how attractive they think other Sims are, and it's usually a 10 or a 1. I try to go for 10s), and B: people that don't fuck up the game. Ilsa managed to find herself a dude, at the Alchemy Shop, if I recall, and she was like 'YES PLEASE'. And that's when I started getting flashbacks to the early days of this Sims game and the grand matriarch of the whole family, Alora. Alora and her mad love of married dudes. Because OF COURSE this dude was totally already married. But, man, after the pain in the ass I had getting Elias and Elliott married off, I DON'T CARE anymore. She likes him, he likes her, let's move him in. Does he break the house? No? FINE, GOOD, KEEP FOREVER.

So Ilsa stole some other girl's husband. WHATEVER. And, since they're both vampires, and the wife wasn't, I figured that, instead of going off and divorcing her so they can get married for realsies, they'd just wait her out. She'd have to die eventually.

Not too long after it was time for THEM to start firing off kids, so along came Hayden, who, as I'm sure you guessed, is already an adult and moved out and the whole nine because there was a lot of game going on while I wasn't posting.

Apparently Hayden didn't warrant either a childhood or adult portrait. Poor Hayden.

More time passes, the cats have kittens (Styx and Marble), Hayden gets older, even though it seems like I didn't care, and then it was time for him to get another sibling, because if there's one thing this game is good for, it's breeding!

Hi, Zoey!

Annnnnd then Hayden grew up, married a woman named Rene, had a kid, Yolonda, and moved out. They're still adults and have, get this, THREE KIDS! Shock, I know. So, Yolonda, Ali, and Tucker. Woo!


Hi, Jaymes!

Unfortunately, not long after Hayden moved out to have his three child quota, Zoey had a birthday and fucked up just like her long lost Aunt Iris. Goddammit, game. Hers was the child to teenager one, too, BUT I learned something from Auntie Iris. Don't age them into elders or they will DIE. Diiiiiiiiiiie.

So instead I went into CAS, made her a teenager so I could get a shot of that, and then a young adult, so I could get a shot of that, too.

Zoey got more growing up photos than Hayden, and she didn't even grow up! I guess we know who the favourite is around these parts.

And then I aged her into an adult adult, so when she had her rando birthday, she'd just age into an elder as opposed into a corpse. Which she did, woo! Then I was like, wait, if she had a successful adult to elder birthday, maybe she'll be fine? So I gave her a fountain of youth elixir and aged her BACK down to a young adult. Good enough. Then I moved her out of the house, because I don't want to have to deal with her further if she's actually still broken. Let the game deal with her.

Amazing what a tan and a lack of vampirism can do for one's looks.

As an aside, you see Zoey's lovely Indian inspired hair and outfit there? I love it and I think she looks beautiful, but I AGONIZED over whether or not it was okay to put her in that garb because she's just so so white. And, like, I know it's a video game and all, and I have ALL this 'ethnic' clothing that I never use because I've spent so long on tumblr that it feels cultural appropriation-y. But then I remembered that great grandpappy was Param Singh, a super Indian dude, so I decided it was okay because she was paying homage to her own culture, even if it was generations ago.

But I still feel weird about it. She does look damn lovely, though.

Another interesting thing about this game, or, really, the mods I have, is that the KamaSimtra mod, when it's working, lets people gain skill points in, ahem, hardcore boning. And vampires gain skill points at a TREMENDOUS rate. And I guess that that bit of vampiric learning stuck with Zoey once I moved her out, because every two seconds I was getting a notification that she was out there getting her bone on and just FLYING up the boning skill tree. She was moved out for A DAY before she maced out to level 10. Damn, girl, get it.

Eventually she got herself married and had a kid, Dale, then divorced that guy, married someone else, and had another kid, Ladonna. Right now she's single and more than likely ready to mingle. I do believe she also DID have a successful birthday, so she made it to adult. Huzzah!

Alright, back to the house. So since Jaymes was now the only kid in the family, and since Ilsa's gent, Tristan's, wife STILL WOULDN'T DIE, I decided that they should adopt another kid instead of having one. Partly because maybe you shouldn't have 50 kids out of wedlock, and partly because this town needs some new hair colours. All thee blonde and brunette Dannons are starting to take over the town's pigmentation. So they adopted a wee little girl named Layla.


She was a kid when they adopted her, so I didn't just forget toddler photos. This time.

I had forgotten what a pain in the butt non vampire kids are, so it's super weird having her sit down to do her homework and having it take a million billion years. But, hey, a little more ginge for the world is a good thing (even though, looking at her now, she doesn't seem AS ginge as I was remembering....). She currently sitll a teenager, so she's totally what you see in the picture. Yay! Getting up to date!

She's also a dog person, so we got a stupid dog in the house to make her happy. His name is Rascal or Peanut or something. I don't know. He's not a cat. (Styx and Marble moved out with Elliott and Elias, and Kitty and Martigan are still going strong)

And THEN guess what happened? If you said 'Jaymes aged up, obviously, because these posts are predictable as shit' you are correct and mean. BUT I also found a snap of Hayden as an adult, so ha, that's what you get first.

Both my sons are goddamn blonde as shit for having a pair of brunette parents. Katia's genes will never die!

And then, fine, Jaymes grew up.

Eyeliner for daaaaaaays.

And that BASICALLY brings us up to where we are now. At least in the grand scheme of what I have screenshots of.

Eventually Tristan's wife DID die, finally, so he and Ilsa got married for real, and I went and had a LEGIT wedding for them and EVERYTHING. And it was TERRIBLE. See, Tristan had run into his wife, Faith, a couple days earlier, before she died, and he got all flirty at her, which is sort of understandable, as she's his for real WIFE, and he got slammed with the cheater reputation for that. Not for running off and having four kids (and five grandkids) with another woman, oh no. For flirting with his wife. So when I had the wedding, everyone was booing him and acting like he was the scum of the goddamn earth. No one even stuck around for cake or anything. It was very sad. But, hey, at least my kids are legitimate now.

Also, after watching Zoey's rise through the ranks of boning fame, I decided that that's what Jaymes was going to do, too, so, at this point, Jaymes has basically fucked everyone who has so much walked past the house. Literally. KamaSimtra takes down the amount of friends you have to be with someone to go and get your freak on, so if you have a closet or something (beds won't work, weirdly enough), you can TOTALLY have one night stands. And Jaymes has. IN SPADES. He's boned coworkers, his boss, the paparazzi that are hanging out on the lawn to try to get photos of his parents, his high school crush, people he ran into at clubs. Just. Fucking. Everyone. So his social stat is GREAT. And, as long as you don't kiss someone, none of it counts as cheating! So he's got zero reputation as being a giant cheater pants because, dude, he never KISSED them. He just stuck his dick in them a couple times. Totally different.

So the Dannons started out as homewrecking sluts, and they continue that proud and sticky tradition to this day.

Tagged, You're It:


( 3 Words — Your Words Go Here )
Aug. 31st, 2016 01:06 am (UTC)
Love Sims posts! I'm glad LJ cooperated.

Okay, but Pappy didn't age well and Elliot was gorgeous. And you have the buggiest game, I swear. People breaking the house. I know it's bad but it made me laugh.

KamaSimtra sounds interesting. I didn't have that one, which I'm kind of sad about. I wish Sims 4 had people going off boning without being told to. Also autonomous try for baby. I would like it to be a surprise sometime.
Aug. 31st, 2016 01:08 am (UTC)
Sorry, that anon comment was me. Click post & find out I'm not signed in and can't fix it. Wtf.
Aug. 31st, 2016 02:05 am (UTC)
Sneaky LJ and it's anon comment making.

And, yeah, Osvaldo could have aged up better. He was sort of a work in progress from day one, though. He got a lot of little tweaks over the years.

And Elliott was a prettikins. Just too bad he was such a crap person. I was going for a badge, but I just couldn't do shitty things to get it.

My game is JANK. I should probably just start a new one with a complete lack of CC, but...I love the CC. D: *pets it*

KamaSimtra is great. People out in the world bone all over the place and I ALWAYS know when someone out there is going to be expecting a kid. You still have to set up your own house's boning to get kids, BUT there's now a 'risky' option where you have an x% chance of getting knocked up. And you can set the percentage if you kiiiinda want it to lean more one way or the other. (I have it set to 25%, since I read once that's what it is in real life) It doesn't seem to play the 'you's knocked up!' music, too, so you don't know if it took right away either.
( 3 Words — Your Words Go Here )